Maybe it's the PMS talking but then again... you are an ASS!
I am so sick and tired of hearing you whine about your job, and how crappy it is! You had a chance to go to college and you chose otherwise! I know your job is hard, I know you don't like it, but quite frankly after I've had a long day of cooking, cleaning, listening to children whine, cry and occasionally scream, I don't care if you had a long day of driving in the quiet truck!!!!! And don't even think about telling me how bad you need a break!
I need a fucking break! I work non stop! I work sick, injured, and without pay! I make sure you have a decent house to come home to, a nice dinner every night, and that our children are healthy and happy. I don't leave without at least one attachment that seems to scream every time they see something they want. My breakfast lunch and dinner is always cold, soggy, or sometimes absent due to the fact that Renee seems to think I am feeding her something different so she wants my plate. I have forgotten my own name and only answer to the shrill of, "MOM!" The best conversation of the day is when I am asking Angel why she thinks it is okay to tie her Kitty to a bathrobe belt and fling her around the room.
Now on to what you did this weekend! That was just wrong! How fucking dare you!!! I know you wanted to go to that birthday party for the guy at work, but come on now, if we can't get a sitter, why is it okay for you to go and not me?!? It wouldn't have been so bad if you had only stayed the 2 hours like you said you would. 9 hours there is a damn joke! I could have smacked the shit out of you because I was so mad. On top of that you came home reeking of alcohol and smoke, drunk as a sailor. That means you were fucking stupid enough to drive home drunk!!!
Why in the fuck would you risk not only your life, but the lives of everyone else on the road, and our future just so you can drive? That was supreme idiotic behavior at its worst! Don't bitch and moan to me about how bad you need a fucking break asshole! If you keep it up you will get a permanent break, due to death or paralysis. I need a husband, and these girls need a father. You are not invincible! You are not half as good as you think you are; if you were you would be dangerous. Get a fucking clue and grow up! Don't be so stupid!
Love,
Your Pissed Off Wife
The longer I stay here, the more I hate my neighbors, the ones to the left anyway. . .
They are needy, and don't ever help anyone else out. Just today they have 2 "infractions" 1. When mowing their lawn, they threw bricks on to my property and 2. They are having a party and invited people to park on my front lawn! Did they ask me???? NO!
GRRRR!
I really want to keep the peace, but geeze... how much do I have to give here???
My neighbor, the one I call Diva, is irritating the piss out of me!!! Two to three days a week I pick her daughter up from school. Her daughter the Naughty Neighbor is one of the worst kids I've ever babysat before. I know that this is the product of Diva's teaching; where else can a 5 year old learn such bad behavior?!?
Some of what I have caught Naughty Neighbor doing:
She pulled her pants down and crawled around the floor in front of a little boy and said to him, "Come get me." *Wow, obviously her mother is adventurous.*
Her vocabulary mainly consists of vulgar use of language, ex: "If you tell on me I'm gonna shit on you!" *And Diva though this was funny when I told her about it.*
She lies constantly about everything from arguments and stealing, to feeding the dog her dinner.
She doesn't listen to anyone; when you tell her to do something, she completely ignores you or begins to throw a screaming tantrum. * I can't stand those either!!!*
She likes to play lets murder the Barbie's and behead them all, which really hurts Angels feelings. *We have taught Angel that even pretend killings are bad*
Naughty Neighbor thinks it's funny to hurt other peoples feelings, but heaven forbid you hurt her feelings!!
Oh and her table manners are atrocious! She talks with her mouth full, smacks her lips, continually puts her elbows on the table, and didn't even know what prayer was until I taught her.
As I said before I know she learned all this from her mother. Her mother claims to be christian, but has never taken her daughter to church, taught her about God or the power of prayer. *Now I know I am by no means a saint, but my daughter knows the 10 commandments, the difference between Jesus, and God, and that the bible is here to help guide us in our daily lives*
Diva lies to everyone constantly, even when there is no reason to lie. *Diva often lies about why she needs me to watch her daughter, she will say that she has to work late, but she will pick her daughter up and have a new tan, and a manicure. Now I'm no Brian Tracy, but I believe it takes quite a while to get all that done.* Diva also openly argues in front of her daughter with her loser boyfriend, and they get physical with one another. She has no set routine for Naughty Neighbor, sometimes it's bed by 8 sometimes by 11; yes on school nights. I could keep going on and on.... this all just takes me back to my post a long time ago about What Happened To Parenting?
Life is the typical revolving door around here. Angel has school, Lee has work, and I have to run the house so they can go to work and school. I have been dedicating my life to my family. I do everything *within reason* I can for them. I don't just clock out and go home like most employees. I do not get paid salary or hourly, I do not get sick days, vacation time, retirement, holidays, lunch breaks or any of those things. I do get endless love, hugs, kisses and smiles. Sometimes those are enough to make it all worth it, but then again sometimes, I still need time for me. I can't keep this up for much longer before I blow a gasket!
This morning...
Lee and I argued. *Yes, I started it... I think*
I woke this morning to the blaring alarm clock and Lee grabbing the sheets and yanking them off me. *I hate that* I can't stand it when someone just rips the sheets away from me. I get up *now in a pissy mood* and amazingly coffee was made already! *He never does that* He starts to make his lunch for work and bitch at me about the location of the mayonnaise in the fridge. *Really? The fucking mayo? That's what you want to complain about?* So I look at him and of course had something smart ass to say.... "Look, if I'm the one doing the cooking and cleaning, then you are the one who deals with where I put the mayo!" He then tries to tell me where to put the mayo. I was so friggin irritated! I didn't even want to look at him. Of course he eggs on the argument, and we went back and fourth for a while.
Long story short I don't know which one I'm not happy with right now; my marriage or my inability to find an adequate job. The only source of happiness I have right now is my children. I love them but I need something else with adult interaction.
Lee and I argued all day yesterday. We argued over everything from kids, to money, to character flaws. It just seemed like one of those days.
Today I found the humor in all of it. See...when I argue I tend to use large words to describe things. *I have a pretty extensive vocabulary* My husband *bless his heart* has the vocabulary of a high school freshman. He never found it necessary to learn to spell past the everyday language or learn new words.
Today I began thinking about yesterdays argument and realized that he didn't know that I really insulted him. I started yelling at him, "You are such a narcissistic sociopathic fuck tard!" Him: "I am not a fuck tard!" At the time it didn't even hit me that he had no idea what a narcissist or a sociopath is.
So today I am re-envisioning the argument with a comedic twist...
Me: "You are such a narcissistic sociopathic fuck tard!"
Him: "Hold on!" *as he gets the dictionary* "S-O-C... is that spelled with at c or an s?"
Me: "C!" *tapping foot*
Him: "SO·CI·O·PATH (sō'sē-ə-pāth',) One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior. so'ci·o·path'ic"
Him: "AN·TI·SO·CIAL (ān'tē-sō'shəl,) Antagonistic toward or disrespectful of others; rude.
Me:raising eyebrows
Him: "AN·TAG·O·NIST (ān-tāg'ə-nĭst) One who opposes and contends against another."
He looks up from the dictionary, " You called me antisocial, rude, disrespectful and opposing in one word?!?
Me: "Forget it... I'm going to bed."
Him yelling across the room: "How do you spell narcissistic? NAR..."
See how funny that argument could have been if he would choose to educate himself on what words really mean?
Okay so arguing is not really funny... but it could be!
Do all men take their wives for idiots, or just mine? Seriously.
Yesterday my husband gets a call at about 11am and it is Benjamen. *The husband of my best friend Christina* Benjamen invites Lee to a round of golf. Of course my husband says yes. I look outside and it's raining. *Oh this is going to be interesting I think to my self* He tells me that tee time is 1pm and that he is also taking my dad.
*Oh this is really going to be interesting* See... my dad is a good guy, he's just very thirsty. My dad loves to golf and is a pretty good golfer. He has played in lots of tournaments and won quite a few times. My husband has never played at an actual golf course, only hit a few balls at the range before. Benjamen is a crappy golfer.... so this will be good.
Lee leaves the house and I am left as usual with the kids and lots of housework. I start laundry and text him asking how many holes they are going to play. He keeps telling me that he doesn't know and will tell me when they get out there.
Of course he never lets me know.... how foolish was I to think he would.
I finally ask again. He tells me 18, "Oh wow" I say. He didn't say anything back. Remember this was all in text because I know that it's rude to talk on the phone on the golf course.
A few hours later it was dark and so I sent him a text asking if they were about done yet.
"nope" is the response I get back. So I ask what hole they are on, then he tells me that they are bringing the carts in because they turned the lights out on them and it was dark.
Okay, I'm always one for a good laugh, but I know better here. Golf courses don't turn lights out that early (5:45pm), and they know how many carts they still have out. They don't turn lights out when they still have carts out. So I begin to question Lee about the odd inconsistency. Then he acts like chicken little," Huh? What you mean? What are we talking about again?" I was getting pissed.
I tried to be patient with him, I really did, but things just weren't fitting in place. I just wanted to smack him up side his head.
He drops everyone off and gets home about 7:45pm. I start to question him on everything.
He continues to lie to me.
"Is that the lie you are gonna stick with?" I ask.
"What do you mean? I'm not lying." He says with this shit eating grin on his face.
"Your story looks like swiss cheese it has so many holes in it!"
"What the fuck went on, what happened, why do you feel the need to lie to me?!?" I know my face started getting red. When I get mad this is what I do, I start to yell, then my face reddens then I broaden my shoulders. I don't know why I do this, but it's something I've done since I was a kid.
After going back and fourth for a while he finally admits that they went to a bar.
A fucking bar? Really? Is that all this was all about? He went to a bar and felt the need to lie about it? Something is up here. . . .
He tells me that my father told him to lie and gave him that story. "I probably believe that, because like I said my dad is thirsty. For whatever reason my husband decided to tell me the story when he could have just said that they were going to stop at a bar on the way home.
He could have avoided everything, instead he failed to communicate with me. What a fucking tard. Then he gets mad at me and says well your dad said you would have gotten mad.
*Excuse me, who here has to live with my dad??? Oh that's right........NO ONE!*
"Your an idiot to think that I would believe that story!" And my dads an idiot to tell you to tell me that story!" "You are both idiots for thinking I would buy something that smells that fishy!"
I ended up going to bed a little early. I felt ill in more than one way. When he decided to come to bed, he tried to cuddle up to me. *Not a smart move*
Me: "Get off me!"
Him: "I just want to cuddle."
Me: "You haven't apologized yet, so get off me!"
I scoot away to the very edge of the bed.
A few hours later I asked him to move because he was crowding me. Thankfully he complied with no resistance.
This morning is none for the better, he has already started his narcissistic tendencies and told me that he was done with everything, with all my petty ass bs.
We have been arguing all morning. *I give him this though... he did apologize for lying before he left for work.* Right now I am so sick of him and his ego. I wish he would stop being selfish for a little while and just listen to what's bothering me. If he could do that and not turn it into something about him for once... it really would be a miracle.
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1) I can't stand my daughter's teacher.
Angel's teacher has been and will be absent all week. Funny how I'm not getting any notes sent home about her behavior this week. When her normal teacher is there I get notes about twice a week about how she is either bickering too much with other students or talking too much. I have never gotten a note before when she has had a sub. Never! And I never get notes from the other teachers, art, gym, library so on and so on.
2) My husband is an ass.
He is demanding, pushy and unappreciative. He takes me for granted, and expects way too much. Oh and he is a tight wad. I can't stand it when I don't have any money of my own. I know it sounds stupid but I don't feel like the money in our checking account is mine because a) we have soooo many other things to be spending that money on and b)I didn't bring that money home, I didn't go out and earn it. I wish he would pause *just for a second* from time to time and say thank you, or the house looks good, or dinner was great..... something to let me know he is thankful for what I do. I wish that he wouldn't expect me to be his secretary/maid/nanny/handyman all the time. It would be really nice if he would just be happy that I don't spend what little money we do have, that I cook, clean, take care of the kids, clip coupons, and do whatever it takes to make this family function properly.... you know.
3) I need Mommy time.
HELP!!!!! I'M STUCK WITH KIDS AND I CAN'T GET OUT!!!!! Don't get me wrong; I love my family. The best conversation of the day consisted of "Yea! You said Angel!!!!" How pathetic is that?!? But I really need some individuality too. Something to distinguish myself from this family. Right now I am Mom, and Lee's wife, I need to be me! Oh and; I caught myself wearing mom jeans!!!! How scary is that?!? I'm only 24, and I've got a decent figure so what the hell am I wearing? I still have my favorite jeans from before baby, but... my hips are not quite in them yet. *Note to self... Sit ups! *
Okay there.... I think I'm done. Sorry you had to endure all that, but I declared today Bitch Away Day; my blogland so I can do that.
That was the first thing I thought when Diva (the Naughty Neighbors mom) dropped of the NN. She asked if I would watch the NN until 9:30 tonight so she could go out with her friend for some margaritas. She looks at me right before she walked out the door and said, "Do you know how long it's been since I've went out on a Thursday night?" I didn't respond. I wanted to look at her and say ooohhh about a month ago when I watched her for you. Instead I just smiled and said have fun.
Now she is gone off to have fun and I am left wondering... when do I get to have fun? I spend every moment of everyday taking care of my family. I am not known as Cassandra, I am only known as Lee's wife and Angel and Renee's mom. I do not go out, my only friend is Christina and she works and goes to school, so there is little room left for me. Shit... even my husband gets to go out. For instance he was off work at exactly 6:55, when he called me and said that he was going to the bar tonight. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I want to go out. I want time without children! I want to know that guys will still look at me, and that I can actually be me without my children or husband.
I need a break! I need time for me! I NEED TO FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN!!!!!!!
Why am I soo nice to everyone? All they do is use me as a door mat. Everyone especially my husband takes me for granted.
A thank you would be nice.
When my daughter goes outside to play she is not allowed to leave my sight. She is not allowed to play outside alone, and she is not allowed to leave my property unless my I am with her.
In our neighborhood there are 6 children. We have the twin terrors, the friendly 5 year old, the surly 6 year old, and our naughty neighbor. My poor daughter is the graceless girl. I don't think that she could walk without tripping over her own feet to save her life.
I have taught my daughter to be well mannered, follow rules, share, and respect others. I have showed her what it means to be a good person by trying to set a good example for her. I am proud of the way she is comming up. Sure she has fits and misbehaves sometimes; what kid doesn't?
The occasional mishap is NOT what bothers me. What really gets me is this:
- The twins; they always bring their twin black labs (not on leashes) and have been caught hitting, kicking and choking my dog who stays on a leash. (He's a toy poodle just FYI)
- The friendly 5 year old is wonderful, polite respectful and courteous, until the surly 6 year old comes around
- The surly 6 year old is just plain wild!!! She demands to come into my house to play. (Like that's going to happen; I don't know her parents!) She demands food and drinks everytime she comes over. She breaks toys and thinks it's funny. She will not share, follow rules, or be polite.
- The naughty neighbor just will not follow rules! She is polite and quite tenderhearted, but for some odd reason she just will not listen!
- My daughter (sad to say) is a follower. She want's to do whatever everyone else is doing even if it gets her in trouble.
My question is; WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE THESE KIDS PARENTS? Theses kids run around the neighborhood like they own the place. I have met some of their parents... once. I am so sick of these children terrorizing the neighborhood. I am ready to make these parents pay for a privacy fence for me. I don't want these awful kids on my property anymore.
It's like going to a resturaunt. There are all kinds of families, but you can spot the parents who are always too busy to pay attention to their kids. Usually those children are just as wild in the resturaunt! GRRRRR!
I just want to let my daughter go over to their house and behave this way! If I did that I would be just as bad as them so I suppose I'll just stay here and vent. I know that the mother of the twins does not like me. This is probably because I threatened to shoot her dogs! The terrors and the labs came over then the labs started going after my dog! I told her to come get her dogs or I would shoot them. She won't come near my house now, but she still lets her dogs and twins!?!?!
WTF???
She'd rather let her dogs get shot then put them on a leash? Theres a real role model! Geeze PFFT!
