Aimee Jo and the Tattoo

I said I would tell you what happened after I left the birthday party for Sha. Okay well... it's not as interesting as I thought it would sound. Basically he threw a tantrum, cussed his mom out, so my parents stepped in and spanked his ass. My family does believe in spankings (in moderation), we don't use them as the only form of discipline though. This time it was definitely called for.


So that's it, that's what happened after we left Sha's birthday party.


Pretty boring huh?


However I do have something a little more entertaining for you.


Last weekend my husband and I decided to have a bonfire at the house. Now usually when we have bonfires here, the whole neighborhood show up. It's usually a pretty relaxed evening. We sit around the fire and talk all night. It's right in the back yard and the girls are usually asleep in the house. I take the baby monitor out with me that way I can hear everything going on in the house. And I open the blinds and leave a light on so I can see inside the house.


Most times we usually end up with about 10-15 neighbors at the house. They all bring their own chairs, drinks, and snacks. When they have to use the restroom they go home, *not the guys though... you know.* This time was a little different. My friend Christina and her husband Benjamen came over. Lee and my friend Anthony was already at the house. The Diva neighbor came over and Richard from down the street came.


So that's the setup.... there was only a small gathering. We were all sitting there enjoying ourselves when Odji (an Egyptian man that used to live down the street) shows up with 3 other people whom I've never met.


Odji introduces us to the three as Aimee Jo, John, and Scott. John and Scott didn't say much, and asked if it was alright that they were there. Of course I don't want to be the rude bitch and say, "No it's not fucking okay! I didn't want you weirdos on MY property without prior consent, and a sex offender registry check!" Instead, I said, "I don't mind that you guys are here, as long as you don't make any problems." I should have just booted them off my property....


Aimee Jo was drunk as could be, and then some. I swear I think she was on something. She introduced herself to everyone about 10 times. Her introduction went something like this: "Hi, I'm Aimee Jo, nice house, wanna see my Aqua Teen Hunger Force tattoo?"


She sits down by the fire and starts yelling toward anyone who will listen. "I just got fired today! It was Odji's fault. Did you know where I used to work? I used to work down at the Gas Station. Odji got me fired because you can't date co-workers."


She was already irritating me in the first 2 minutes she was there. I wanted to bitch slap her back to where she came from.


My poor friend Christina ended up getting trapped listening to her whole life story. Benjamen came up to me put his arm around my shoulders and said, " Hey, I've heard stories about you being a bitch to people, but I've never seen them. Nows the perfect time, I wanna see it, go be a bitch!" "If she continues, you may just get to see that show Benjamen."


Aimee Jo starts yelling out to everyone *as if we care* "Wanna see my Aqua Teen Hunger Force tattoo? "Did you know that I just got fired from the Gas station down the street. I just left my husband in Idaho because he was addicted to heroin. I lost my daycare because of him! I brought my 2 sons up here, my baby is 20month old his name is Gavin! Now I can't get food stamps because I lost my job at the gas station. It's all Odji's fault! Who's house is this?


I grabbed my friend Christina and *drink excuse* and bolted for the house. We get inside and I start to apologize to her. I kept telling her that I was sorry, and I'm about to ask them to leave when we go back outside. Then I hear *knock, knock knock creeeeek*

The bitch opened my door! My fucking door! To my house!!!!!!! Then she says, "I gotta go to the bathroom where's the bathroom at?"


"I'm sorry" I say, "but the bathroom is by the baby's room and the toilet flushing usually wakes her up, I'd prefer you not use it."


"But I've really gotta go, and there's no where else to go"


I wanted to say, "Here is some toilet paper, go find a bush and ruff it." I didn't though. I just apologized again. Then she begins to ask for a drink.


"Can I have a drink, you know some of whatever you guys are having? Just a little?"


*As I pour the rest of the Dr. Pepper into the glasses* "Sorry I'm out." *I throw the bottle away*

*By the way I hate Dr.Pepper. I think it tastes like cough syrup. And I just poured in in my drink. Can you tell I really wanted to get rid of her!?*


"Come on, just a little?"


I said, "I don't have anymore, I'm out, it's empty see!" *Grabbing the empty bottle and shaking it.*


"Just a little, please?" *How in the fuck am I supposed to give you something I don't have?*


I just said No.


"Oh OK." she says then she walks out the door.

Apparently she made a big scene about it outside. When I came outside Aimee Jo, Scott, Odji and John were all gone. Everyone outside told Christina and me that Aimee Jo came outside telling everyone that I cussed her out and that they were not welcome here.


*She was right about not being welcome here, but I never said anything to that effect*


Aimee Jo is now the laugh amongst friends. She is never welcome near my home again!


Geeze some people...pfft!