Lessons of Life

Sometimes I think my 6 year old is too smart for her own good. On the way to school today we get in the discussion of what girls and boys can do. She tells me that girls can't play robots because that's a boys game. *I of course have to correct her.* "No dear, girls can do anything boys can do!" I was satisfied with my answer, it's a true and concise statement. * I thought* Of course my 6 year old had to protest! "No mom, no they can't! Boys can pee standing up and girls have to sit down! And, Mom, and Mom! Didn't you know boys can't have babies?"

*Nope, sorry, I didn't get that memo. First of all, how and when did my little girl learn all of this? Secondly... who taught her?!?*

"Okay, you're right... but I mean on the playground... so I was almost right. Okay?"

"No mom almost only counts in horse shirts and hand gardens."

*Wow I've really gotta stop being sarcastic with her!*

I was laughing my ass off wayyyy to much to correct her.

I dropped her off in hopes her day is as funny as her morning was.

I Need Your Help... Please!

A while back I submitted a free verse poem to The New Author for consideration of a poetry/short story contest. I would be much obliged if you guys would go read my poem titled Success and vote for it on April 10th. I am very proud of this poem because it explains my daily struggles when I was going to college and working 2 jobs. Please go and take a look at it, even if you don't vote, I would love to hear your comments. Thank you guys!

Why You Should Hire ME

I took this idea from MJ I hope she doesn't mind! *Don't worry I told her I was doing it... and if she does mind I will remove this post*

MJ recently did a post titled "Updating My Resume" where she listed the The Top Ten Reasons To Hire Me That I Can't Put On My Resume. I thought it would be fun if I did the same and forwarded it to others... here we go;

10. Function very well under stress.
9. Do not need sick days... I am not allowed to get sick.
8. Can manage several hectic schedules with ease. (Or at least make it look easy.)
7. Cater to every individuals meal plans without complaint, (out loud).
6. Can change a diaper anywhere *even standing* in less than 30 seconds.
5. Can spot dangerous situations a mile away, and fix them before anyone else notices.
4. Am able to complete projects on time even when learning they exist at bedtime.
3. Great with improvisation and few tools to do such.
2. Know the answer every time I am asked, "Why?" (google assisted).
1. Have no problems focusing on the task at hand with background screaming, yelling, crying, fussing, and complaining repeatedly while calling my name.

Okay... so now I would love to be able to see this list from a couple people... I think they would do a good job on it so maybe they will do it...
Maybe...

The Obnoxious SAHM
Faker

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today is my Mother's birthday! Yup she turns *well I can't tell you that, it's just rude*. But I am going to make her a cake today! Since her birthday is on St. Patrick's Day, I will of course be adding some green to her cake. Oh and just to prove my Grandmother had a sense of humor; she named my mother Patti. :D My Mom plans on picking up Angel today and taking her to a matinee, I think they both will enjoy that.

Other than making a cake today my plans are pretty much nonexistent. I may go to the Dr. though, I've got a nasty little sinus infection that has kept me up the past two nights.

Oh I almost forgot to mention, I had a job interview yesterday (for a nursing position at the pediatrician's office)... It went really well, and I was asked to come back for a second interview with a Dr. on Wednesday. So maybe I will soon have a job!! YEA!!!

I must once again thank my best friend Christina for watching my girls yesterday while I went on the interview. She is the best friend ever!

Okay... so I know my thoughts are kind of all over the place today, but I feel like poo. Maybe I'll get on here later and edit it... then again... it's already posted.... so maybe not...

Tell Me Thursday!

I was mentioned on a radio talk show! No really it's true! Little me?!? Imagine that!

I was mentioned just briefly you can even hear for yourself on Tell Me Thursday!



So here is the story behind the Wordless Wednesday Post...

*The picture can be found here*
When Renee was an even smaller baby she would freeze when you put something on her head. It didn't matter what it was; hats, wash clothes, your hand, blankets, anything.

Well, Angel loves to play princess and make her own crowns. Angel made this crown special for Renee and begged me to let her put it on her head. When I finally gave in (with camera in hand) Angel put the paper crown on Renee and Renee threw her hands up and froze as if she were startled. *Snap* And the surprised baby was born...

The Things People Look For...

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How Well Do You Know Your Husband?

Okay so I got this quiz from a fellow blogger buddy... so here it goes...

How Well Do You Know Your Husband?
1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Usually the news or Burn Notice
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Blue Cheese
3. What's one food he doesn't like?
Apparently my pancakes..... grrrr
4. When you go out to eat what does he order to drink?
Tea, Dr. Pepper, Bud Light
5. Where did he go to high school?
Antioch High School
6. What size shoe does he wear?
Size... 11 in dress shoes, 12 in sneakers
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Tools
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Fried Bologna
9. What would he eat every day if he could?
Cookies and Milk
10. What is his favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes
11. What would he never wear?
A top hat
12. What is his favorite sports team?
He doesn't watch sports unless it's the Superbowl
13. Who did he vote for?
He refused to register to vote so he didn't get a say
14. Who is his best friend?
He says that I'm his best friend
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
Make pancakes, nag, bite my nails, smoke... the list goes on and on
16. What is his heritage?
England
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Red Velvet or Carrot Cake
18. Did he play sports in high school?
He tried wrestling
19. What could he spend hours doing?
Fixing cars, shooting at the gun range... (I may not be redneck but he is)
20.What is one unique talent he has?
Manipulation of speech :)

I Said Nothing Corny!

Okay we all remember my post about Valentines Day and how I wanted a haircut and someone else to cook dinner... Well I did get my haircut (on Friday) and sort of got the other half.

That morning we woke up and exchanged gifts, my husband received a rose,a box of Hershey's kisses and hugs, and a card. I received a card that sings "My Girl" a box of Hershey's kisses and hugs, a bear, and a giant balloon rose. Seriously thought that I had all the corny rose topics covered. Plastic, glass, real, felt........guess I missed one. This is what I got...

Okay... I know it's sweet. I do like it, I just didn't want another corny rose this year. It was sweet though.

So after we finished exchanging all that.... we gave the girls their gifts and cards and started rearranging the house.

Bedroom first: we had to rearrange it to get all of the new bedroom suite in there.

Living room second: The computer had to be taken out of the bedroom and put in the living room. So we had to rearrange the living room so the computer would fit.

Finally, the girls rooms: We moved a dresser and a chest dresser out of our room and the girls each get one... so we had to rearrange their rooms to fit those.

After lunch time we decided to go bowling... Angel had never bowled before so we though it would be a great day to teach her.

Bowling was so much fun! Angel kicked my butt because my gross motor movements are not what they used to be; but fun none the less.

We filled up on nachos, pretzels and cheese while we were bowling. Then we we went and dropped off my van to get remote start and key less entry installed. (It was really a Christmas gift that never was finished, so I'm not counting it for v-day gifts.)

After bowling we went to um mm... brain fart so I don't remember....

Then we came home and .... oh yea we went to Steak N' Shake; Lee and I ordered shakes, and chili cheese fries, and the girls got meals and shakes. Then we came home and ate. (So technically no one cooked for me.)

No nookie though, we were too friggin tired from bowling and rearranging furniture.

Sunday we had to get on top of the house and hang shingles! YEA!!! What fun!
I hate hanging shingles it takes too damn long. (Last week we had a bad storm come through and tear off part of our roof, so naturally.... we fix it ourselves because it's too expensive to let someone else do it.)

Later that day my parents called and invited us to dinner at their house. We had a lovely roast with some amazing crescent rolls.

That's it... that was my weekend. Nothing major/catastrophic/or funny. *Except that my 6 year old kicked my ass in bowling.*

So how did you guys enjoy the weekend?

Sax in the Suburbs

When I was a little girl I used to dream of being a musician. I wanted to write music and play my instruments. I held onto this dream until I was about 17 then reality kicked in. I have played the saxophone since I was about 8 years old. I am pretty good too. I play blues like no ones business. When I get my sax out I feel free. Sounds kind of weird *I know* but I really do feel as if I could play forever.

I remember one night a few months ago, during a bonfire we were hosting, my husband asked me to get my sax out and play. I was reluctant at first because no one in the neighborhood knew *then* that I played. Well Nik ended up getting his guitar out and playing, so I busted out my sax. We played together for hours that night. It was the best I've felt in years. It made my dream creep to the front of my mind. Again I found myself involved in a musical high, flying free and enjoying life.

A neighbor from across the street was sitting outside on his back porch and heard me playing. When I stopped for a break he started yelling, "KEEP PLAYING!" A few minutes later he came over. He walked up to me with his hand outstretched and said, "Let me shake your hand!" "You're fucking awesome!" It took a lot for me to just sputter out a thank you behind my blushing cheeks.

I wish I could feel that musical high more. I wish I could make a real career out of playing my sax. Then again, reality is tugging my leg asking me to pick her up. It's nice to dream though.

Floccinaucinihilipilification Friday!

Right now I am laughing at some of you for trying to pronounce that! It is pronounced flok-suh-naw-suh-nahy-hil-uh-pil-uh-fi-key-shuhn. It basically means worthless, but I didn't want to title it Worthless Friday, that just doesn't fit. Maybe we could use the Yiddish word farblunget. It means totally lost and or confused. That probably sounds better Farblunget Friday!

Hey Faker! Where did you get that play list on your blog? I have decided I want one and all the play lists I have found suck! So please please please tell me where you got it from!

I have been applying for jobs all over the place and have yet to get a "bite" .... oh well. Maybe I will find something eventually...

Nothing new here in the cul-de-sac, so I figure maybe can add some humor. A bit of funny perhaps.... um lets see......

Always a favorite:

Real medical chart entries

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. *Teenagers sure can be abnormal*
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. *Wonder why?*
On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared. *Usually called amputated*
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. *Didn't realize those were not part of depression.... Good to know.*
Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. *Well now we know you think you are God*
Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. *Can we say oxymoron?*
The patient refused autopsy. *Seems the autopsy wasn't necessary*
The patient has no previous history of suicides. *I would hope not*
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. *Wait, what?*
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days. *Don't know about you but I'd say that's significant*
She is numb from her toes down. *How does that work?*
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. *That covers all of it*
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. *That's pretty intense therapy*
Skin: somewhat pale but present. *I would hope it's there*
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. *Sounds like you may be the problem doc*

Okay fun is over, gotta take care of kids now.... You guys have a good weekend!

Link Contest Winner

I recieved several comments from the link contest with links and more emails. Today I am announcing the winner *okay what have you really won but a link from my site* Like I said before, it was mostly for fun so technically everyone wins because I will post them all here with my comments on each. I hope you enjoy!



The winner by brown nosing *lol*
Faker Within

A real deep thinker. I love that my blog Questions and Secrets was mentioned, so of course you win in the suck up category! Just joking, but I do enjoy reading your blog, and can understand why you call yourself faker. It's hard to show all of the real you.

All of the other submissions in no particular order.....

The New Author
A great site for aspiring bestsellers. Very informative, but not in a I'm going to bore you to death kind of way. I love how it uses real life stories to explain concepts and tips. If you are looking for a good foundation for your next great novel, bookmark this site!


Going Wacko
Earl is a good ole American boy at the core. He holds his country close to his heart and with good reason. He is a dedicated father and husband who believes, "In America, we have the power to make our dreams come true." Thank you for your submission Earl, and I hope your son has been able to continue to keep moving forward in a positive direction after losing Logan. God Bless!


The Brain Twinkey
Poking fun at the news and all things in life. This site is just just for fun and will put a smile on your face. Don't forget to check out the Idiot of the week!



Random Road Kill
I'm not sure where to start with this one. It's pretty self explanatory. Ummm at first I was a little grossed out, but after a looking at it for a while, I found the humor in it all.


Shifo 2500
I'm still not completely sure what this blog theme is, but it does have some good posts.


Working From Home
Tips and thoughts from a SAHM.


Thru Lisas Lens
Lisa seems to have gone through hell, her blog was supposed to be her novel, but seems to be more of her frustration outlet. Hang in there Lisa, you will make it.


Billboardom
A funny way to advertise... check it out!

Dancing With Crazy
She has my smart ass attitude, what more can I say?

So there you have it...... the wieners of the link contest! Hope you all enjoyed it.

Send Me Your Links!

That's right! You there in front of the computer! Yes, I'm talking to you! I would like some input if you don't mind. I would like to link some sites on here! Comment back or email me at questions.and.secrets@gmail.com and give me your links; with an explanation of why you either like the link or feel like you should be linked. After a week; all of the links will be reviewed and I will post the "winner" and "loser" links. No I don't have to use your name. I will post my thoughts and reactions on the winner and loser links. Who knows we could have a lot of fun with this!

Unacceptable links: Pornography of any kind, political, religious, and violent. I am not looking for controversy, so these links are not accepted! I am looking to just have a little fun with this and see what serious, funny, goofy, weird, educational, ect we can get.

I think it would be interesting.....so what are you waiting for? Let's link!